The Expense of a Child

I was young (20) and due to unforeseen circumstances was single and expecting a baby. Although not a planned pregnancy I resolved to take a step up to the plate and do what it takes to provide the best I could for my new baby. I was in my last semester of college and an honour student when this occurred. Being young and quite scared of what was to come I went to the coffee shop to talk with a few friends.

Being young themselves, my fellow students and friends of mine had no trouble telling me the problems I was about to incur with raising a child so young. “Do you know how much it costs to raise a child?” one friend asked me. She went over all the costs of raising a child: food, clothes, shelter, dentist bills, medical expenses, tuition, etc.

I left the coffee shop feeling down and out. Maybe I wasn’t ready for this. What was I getting myself into? Although I would be graduating in about 4 months, I had little faith that I could ever provide my child with the life my friends were talking about. Feeling lost I went to my parents house to join them for a hot chocolate and a chat. After breaking down in tears when telling my mom about the earlier conversation I had with my friends. She looked at me and said something along these lines:

“Having a child is an expense; I don’t want to kid you on that. With your age and situation it can be, and probably will be, tough. Family’s come in all shapes and sizes. It is not the ‘members’ that make up the family, but the values you hold dear. I want you to know what you will receive along with this ‘expense’.

You will get to be a hero, every monster you scare away under the bed, every bandaged up booboo you fix, every vaccination or stitch at the doctors. Your child will look up to you.

You will be reminded of all the good in the world, and your faith will grow stronger with every butterfly kiss, every proudly displayed picture and craft, every mother’s day card, and with every ‘I love you’ told.

You will know great joy with every giggle, every holiday, every tobogganing race and every visit to the park.

You will know great pride when you look at your family and see just how special they are, a gift from God. Just like when I look at you! You must love without counting the costs, for the payment you receive will be far greater.”

This was 10 years ago but has been stuck with me ever since. My family taught me many things like compassion, integrity, kindness, honesty, trust, to love, and to be loved.

I always admired my mom, a loving caring soul whose guidance made me who I am today. She taught me the importance of family and supported me through tough and trying times. She taught me the meaning of Family, and family values that I hold dear. My mom created a family unit that was safe, positive, supportive, and nurturing. I cannot stress how important these family values are. I live by these values and teach my children everyday the importance of family. My mom was right, I have never known such pride, joy, and have had such faith and warmth in my heart.

P.s. This story has a happy ending, meeting the love of my life and now having a total of 3 children, I know why my mom held onto those values and her family with such resiliency. I now know the true meaning of the word family.

Anonymous